Inspiration and explanation of my paintings featured at "the Carlton Arms Hotel", room 11A

View a flash movie of room 11A

The Carlton Arms hotel was built in 1868 as a bachelor residence offering a home to the traveling merchant in New York City. Today the old Georgian style building still stands however as an ongoing art project offering a unique canvas to its able artists. Every wall, ceiling and hallway have become the means that it's well-known and obscure participants have created their images and installations upon.

In the summer of 2004 I was invited by friends to one of the hotels coveted openings. In 2005 I was offered the opportunity to become one of it's artist.

Story of 11A

My initial idea was to do a "nightmare room" based on some very lucid dreams I had in early childhood. I believe they may have started when I was around six or seven. As a young teen I realized that my dreams coincided with the illness and passing of my mother. I had not been told that my mother had fallen ill. These dreams were manifestations of things I had heard and seen without the lead or explanation of the events from an adult or family member. This was combined with what I had been told but only in the aftermath of her death. As frightening as the dreams were they were still part of us, the last part of us and I had always wanted to preserve their images. The four walls, two windows and ceiling somehow created a worthy canvas to begin...

The paintings are narrative. They start in the nightmarish images of a child's mind, that predict and/or predispose me to later events in my life. They travel into adolescence and finally move into my adult life.

Inspirations

Dream at the age of 7 (dream 1)

I stand outside the bookstore, a favored spot my mother and I visit. It is located a few blocks from our home. The street on which we stand is absent of people and activity. The light is not normal, it is as if I have stared into the sun for too long. Everything appears overexposed, their details lost in the unrealistic brightness. She has gone inside and I am waiting for her, I am standing on the sidewalk next to a baby carriage. I am becoming impatient when I see someone approach the door. It is not her, I don't know who it is. I know only that it is an adult male and suddenly he is standing beside me. I see only his elongated shadow stretched out before me, he asks me, sounding almost surprised, "Why are you still here?" I reply, "I'm waiting for my mommy." The voice says, "Don't you know? She's gone. The monster took her away. She won't come back." At that moment the light disappears, heavy dark clouds engulf the sky. They create monstrous shapes and in the their midst appear a sinister and purely evil eye.

I awaken screaming and my mother comes to comfort me.

Dream at the age of 9 (dream 2)

I am in my apartment where I live as a child. It is an apartment building of about 9 units.
We live on an upper floor. I see a person floating in the front room she is swathed in a red flowing garment. I can not see her face but I know her. It is my mom. Behind her are several black and white television sets displaying snow and emitting the sounds of white noise. There is a doorway without a door. Through it I can see the stairwell. The stairs however are floating and can not be broached easily. It would be quite a jump from the threshold. She turns towards me and her face is desiccated.
She appears to me as one would after being buried for some time.

Various dream imagery

The dreams are many and several take place in our old apartment. In one my dog comes back. In some my mother comes back. Repetitive images are the TV's emitting white noise, books flipping their pages, many times the apartment becomes a maze of hallways and stairwells or an impossible structure. Sometimes some sort of construction or renovating is going on with all it's sounds and confusion.

Sort of UFO event when I was about 13 or 14

Late one evening I was hanging out with my friend and as we were about to head on home we saw something completely amazing. In the night sky where only a moment ago there was nothing out of the ordinary, appears this huge, mammoth object. A sphere flying in the sky from left to the right. It was absolutely breathtaking. It made not a sound, nothing, absolute silence and then it was gone. I went immediately back home and told my father. I couldn't believe what I had just seen. The following day coverage of that event was everywhere. Many people had witnessed it. The newspapers said it stopped over the next big town and as before just vanished. There had been no meteorite shower, no comet. The local airport radar's had picked up nothing. Well whether created by humans, nature or "aliens" it was an absolute gift to see... I love space, infinity, and us human beings part of it all.

...and no... green men did not visit me that night, neither was I abducted in any way...

My Family

During this project my wife and I became pregnant and had our first child. With just the knowledge of his imminent arrival my approach to life changed almost overnight. I'd had ideas about images on each wall. I knew that the 3rd wall would have a door and then another doorway behind it full of light symbolizing enlightenment. It was so hard to create the image or feeling of the image I had in mind. It was time consuming and was becoming more personal than I expected. I started to struggle. I ended up having to take some time off and step away. The room was rented unfinished and that bothered me. Then my son was born, I came back and finished the painting. He was the enlightenment. I simply put his image as a fetus in the lighted doorway. He is my everyday inspiration...

My wife is a very strong individual, and her approach is rather simple, she always does what she thinks is right. I analyze, overanalyze and get on emotional roller coaster. Then I analyze her and her personality and why she makes the choices she makes. And then she stops me. She pulls me out of a self destructive action and brings me back to life, out of my obscurity and social isolation. I could not make it without her by my side. I respect her most and above all others.

My grandfather Stanislaw Solarski who was a great artist, painter, designer, survivor, person. I never met him...I was the first grandchild to be born after his death.

Music, music, music

I have to mention music for years my best friend a great inspiration that kept me going present throughout the whole process of painting.

1st wall images: